Downsizing from a double-wide to a single-wide

Folks, I apologize again for my noticeable absence. I know each of you wait patiently day in and day out to hear from me and that your lives aren’t complete until you do. I’m truly, truly sorry. BUT, I’ve been busy. You’d think being unemployed I’d have nothing but time to sit and write blogs all day. That’s just not the case. I’ll catch y’all up in the next few days with what’s been going on the past few weeks, but I DO have something to say today, so the excitement that is my life will have to wait.

So we recently had a super special guest come stay at the casa for a few days. I’ll write about that in another post. While said guest was here we went out one night and sang karaoke. Besides my obvious lack of talent in the video (below), there’s one more startling aspect of the video. The fact that it looks like I’m in my 5th trimester. Said guest insists that I don’t “look that huge in person” (compliment?), but that the video adds 50 pounds to my navel. You be the judge:

Later in the week, my gal pal Leslie came over to watch Project Runway and had a brilliant idea. She wanted to have a “Shrink my double wide to a single wide” friendly weight loss competition with a cash incentive. She came up with a complicated system of weekly payouts and a ultimate cash prize at the end of the competition with weekly weigh ins over a bowl of queso and “exercise” (watching Project Runway). Having seen my belly jiggle, I’m eager to start!

I’m going to get started (AFTER dinner tonight, of course) with the help of my friend, Chris Lopez, over at Fit and Busy Dad. I have a 51 pound goal by December 31st. That’ll put me right at 340.

So good luck LESLIE and JED! Y’all are going DOWN! And not in a good way.

ENCOURAGING PHOTOS FOLLOW!!!

Clearly Leslie is going to be having issues with snacking.

As will I.

And even Jed!

Advertising FAIL

You know how you get home some days and people have shoved various leaflets in your door handle? You may get some information about a neighborhood restaurant and their dinner specials; carpet cleaning information; "help find my missing dog/child" leaflets, etc. Usually you just walk them straight to your file 13.

I got home yesterday to find this stuck on my door:

Y'all. I'm all about free enterprise, for sure. BUT, here are some facts:

• It hasn't rained in Austin since 1983.
• Anyone who has seen any local or national news in the last 13 months knows that ALL OF TEXAS IS UNDER A SEVERE DROUGHT WARNING.
• Lake Travis is at it's 3rd ALL TIME lowest level since it was created (Our MAIN SOURCE OF WATER).
• It has been >100 degrees for 46 out of the last 49 days.
• And THIS is what my front yard (THE YARD YOU HAVE TO WALK THROUGH TO GET TO MY FRONT DOOR) looks like:

Now. It would seem logical, to me, if I were distributing these leaflets, that this would be a house I could skip. Come on people. Use your head.