I couldn't stop obsessing about McDonald's Pies today. At one point my next husband posted a status update that read, "now where did I put my Pumpkin Spice Latte?...oh that's right...Starbucks," and it got me thinking about that god damn fabulous Pumpkin Pie from McDonald's again. So I got on the McDonald's website and almost shat myself a second time when I saw that they had JUST POSTED, TODAY, an update to their nutritional calendar (dated TODAY!) with PUMPKIN PIE back on the menu. I did what any self-respecting queer would do.
I called TJ, my McDonald's fix, and promised him a blow-job if he would bring me a dozen of them when he came over to watch Project Runway tonight. He declined the blow-job (damn straight men), but didn't show up to mi casa empty handed tonight. And so, I give you...
The shittiest tasting pie I've ever had in my life. Honestly, don't get me wrong. I'm sure they're delicious when they're fresh. But TJ admitted that these aren't McDonald's "top sellers" and the pie(s) he brought me had all been sitting there since 1983, the last time McDonald's had them. I almost broke a tooth on the first one. He suggested I try one fresh...and I will, I promise.
Oh, by the way. I'll be 40 in 40 days. I'll try to give you a post a day until then. I know you're thrilled.