Are you there God? It's me, Freddy.

A few months ago Jed and I started discussing taking the boys to church so they could start learning the basic Bible stories and start developing a foundation of a belief system without being influenced one way or the other by the daddy and their poppa. As you may imagine, religion is a touchy subject with us. Not me 'n Jed, but us. While we want the boys to learn the parables, the stories where good prevails evil; right outsmarts wrong; the underdog forges ahead, we both agree that we need to pull the boys out of church before they learn the ugly truth about all religions. I have this thought in my head that plays out like this:

Adrian: Daddy, do you believe in God?

Daddy: No sweet boy, I don't.

Adrian: Why?

Daddy: Well, you see son. Many of today's conflicts have started based on God and religion. There are many different types of religions Adrian, each having their own Gods, yet none of them really agreeing on what their own God wants, believes or teaches. Basically son, all religions hide behind their flags and preach against one another. The Jews hate the Christians. The Christians hate the Muslims. The Muslims hate everyone. At one time, believe it or not, the Greeks had their own Gods. Everyone has since dismissed them as Mythical characters, and this is sort of how daddy feels about the modern day God. Does that make sense to you son?

Adrian: Not really daddy. Everyone I know tells me:

Lets be honest. Eventually the boys are going to hear it and then I'm going to have to explain it. And since I've gone ahead and opened the can of worms, I'll go ahead and expound a little further.

Yes, at one time the Greeks did have their own deity system. At what point did a revolution begin and someone say, hey, Greek Guy. You can't have 2 dozen Gods to explain every event. There is only one God. My God. You must believe in my God, or you will burn in the fiery pits of hell.

I stand firm on my statement that Christians can't come to a consensus on the truth about God. Does God, in fact, really hate...anyone? Not just fags, but Jews? Polygamist? Hows about goat fuckers? I got one Christian church telling me that soldiers in Iraq are dying because of me, because I'm gay. I've got another Christian church telling me that that church is crazy. The soldiers aren't dying because I'm gay, however I will be burning in the pits of hell because I'm gay. And yet another church is saying, "You're gay? GREAT! God doesn't care what you are and neither do we as long as you tithe 10 percent of your income. Welcome brother." If God really hates anything, is that something I want to expose my children to? I don't mind if they hate sprouts or mustard, but do I want them hating people?

The way I see it, the problem with Christianity is nobody can get on the same page. In that regard, if you read yesterday's blog, Christians are very much like gay men. They can't even agree to disagree, they just fight with each other and talk about each other on Fox News. I don't understand how an entire group of people who all identify themselves as Christians can have so many different interpretations of a single book? Yet they drone on under the same banner of Christianity trying desperately to make the rest of the world think like them, and act like them.

Puhleez don't get me wrong. I am so not bagging on Christians. I know LOTS of Christians who are great people. There are many people who volunteer for the homeless. Even your very own Freddy diligently serves the elderly every single Monday at 11 am. He finds himself delivering food to the home- bound old folks on Austin's forgotten East Side. Does it make me any less of a person because I don't consider myself a Christian? The fact of the matter is I DON'T KNOW if there is a God. I've been taught that the Romans were wrong, the Greeks were wrong. And isn't it convenient, or is it a coincidence, that The Bible tells us they were wrong because of that whole idol worship thing??? Who am I to tell you that your God doesn't exist? Or the Muslims? Or the Buddhist? Better yet, who are you to tell me that I'm less of a person for the simple fact that I don't have a God.

If I've offended you, apologies. Go ahead and do the Christian thing. Forgive me.