I’m not above pandering to my children. Not that I feel I need to, but sometimes I just want to. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m also somewhat of a dork.
Last night we went to visit my ex-wife (a/k/a “fatty”; a/k/a “Kay”; a/n/k/a “low-fatty”) at the hospital. She’s been in there since Monday, when she went in to have an emergen-c-section. I had to drop off her breast pump for her AND I STILL hadn’t gotten a chance to see my brand-spankin’ new nephew yet! (And folks, despite the parentage, it’s really true…he IS a cute baby).
There was an “incident” in the hospital that will go down in our family as “The great elevator debacle of 2009”. Now, nobody fell down the shaft or anything. (ELEVATOR SHAFT, pervs!) However, there were tears involved. BOTH boys were hell bent on hitting “the button” to Narnia. When the doors of the elevator opened BOTH boys charged the elevator, but the older, bigger, faster, stronger boy won…by throwing the younger, smaller, clumsy one to the ground. After a loud discussion (me yelling at BM “WHAT THE FU”…hehehe, KIDDING!) with the boys about how neither one of them were going to hit the button now because both of them were acting like douche nozzles they both started sobbing. BM started yelling his new, recent mantra of “I don’t like you vewy much. You not vewy nice at me”. I told him to knock it off otherwise he was going to be staying in the hospital…in traction.
When we got out to the car I was having a slight twinge of guilt. I suppose I should have been proud at BM’s crazy mad line-backer skills. (I bet there’s a couple of you who didn’t think I’d know anything about Foosball, eh???) I mean, he TOTALLY took the LM out, cold. It was actually poetry. As we were driving out of the parking lot I says to the car (well, not so much “the car”, but the people IN the car), “I’m thirsty. I’m going to Sonic. Whoever can yell, ‘I LOVE DADDY’ the loudest will get anything they want when we get there”. And for the next four minutes I heard a choir of angels shouting to the world, “I LOVE DADDY, I LOVE DADDY, I LOVE DADDY, I LOVE DADDY”. I had a hard time determining who was actually shouting it loudest, so to break the tie, we all won.
And it really doesn’t get much better than that.