So…yeah. There are time I hate being the token homo…and tonight was one of those nights. In my Government class we were discussing the division of federal and state powers and civil liberties vs. civil rights. Professor Funny was talking about the snails pace at which civil rights have moved at a snails pace for some segments of the population in the United States since the drafting of the Declaration of Independence in 1789.
A somewhat cuteish bohemian boy sitting a few rows behind me raised his hand and said that he thought in the grand scheme of things he felt the acceleration of civil rights were moving at a somewhat rapid pace comparatively to other countries. Professor Funny said that if you looked at other governments that were similar in age that we were moving super slowly, and asked bohemaboy for an example.
The boy told a story about how he had dated a black chick and that she was equal in every way (education, looks, sexual stamina, etc.) and that would have been unheard of in his parents day and age. And he was probably right. I actually raised my hand in defense of his comment and explained that I felt he was talking about a historical comparison to, say, Spain and their advancement of civil rights and when comparing it to governments that aren’t as young as the United States he had a valid point. You really can’t compare apples to oranges, right? And so I thought I had made a friend? Ohhhhhhh, no.
While discussing the concept of “full faith & credit” (an interstate agreement wherein states agree to fully recognize legal contracts performed in other states…such as marriage and adoption rights. If an adoption is formalized in one state, theoretically it would have to be recognized in any other state)…and I think everyone knows where this is heading???
So (F)reddy raises his little hand and says, “but there are certain situations where this isn’t practiced”. And Professor Funny (I GUESS he ass u med I was going to go down the homo marriage route!) says, “Can you give me an example”? And I say, “Yes. For example, my partner and I have both legally adopted our children, however Oklahoma doesn’t recognize same-sex parental adoption agreements from other states. Therefore we rarely go home to visit my family, because should anything happen to me while visiting my family in Oklahoma, my family would have more rights to my children than my parent…who in Texas has full adoption rights”. And Professor Funny says, “Oh, yeah. That too”.
Next he went down the slope, “Why do you suppose this group, gay folks, haven’t attained the same levels of legal rights in adoption and other areas that other groups/people have made gains”?
Bohemaboy says, “Well I guess it’s because children need to be protected”. And Professor Funny says, “Protected from what”? And Bohemaboy says…(READY?)
He says that “children need to be protected from STDs and other diseases that are prevalent in gay men”. (Which, believe it or not, didn’t garner the loudest gasp from ME!) Professor Funny asked him to explain and he went on to say, “Well, I think everyone can agree that the instances of AIDS is higher in gay men than normal people”. This is when I stepped in and turned around and said, “Sweetie, I hate to tell you, but you’re wrong. According to the latest research, the incidences of AIDS is higher in infants, older people, women, and, in particular, African American women”. The simple fact of the matter, he had more of a chance of getting AIDS from his very progressive relationship than ADRIAN does getting AIDS from, uh, me. Professor Funny actually stepped in and bitch slapped the boy, I suppose, in an effort to keep me from bitch slapping him. Frankly, I’ve found that you can’t educate stupid people like that, therefore I don’t even bother getting upset about it. I was just stating fact. Professor Funny spouted some other facts that I wasn’t even aware of, at which point Bohemaboy said, “Oh, I guess I was just misinformed”. And while that may be, misinformation doesn’t excuse stupidity. Just ask W., mmmmkay?
EVERYTHING WAS CLEAR, though, following the next line of discussion in which Professor Funny started talking about (still with regards to the full faith & credit) about situations where states wouldn’t recognize marriages from other states. AND AGAIN, I was sure all eyes would be on me. But he took it in an area even I didn’t expect. he took it to the Virginias and guys marrying their 14 year old 1st cousins and wanting to know if that would be recognized in other states. And do you know what Bohemaboy said??? (Ready???)
Wait for it, wait for it…
He says, (in an inquisitive sort of way…not in a thoroughly disgusted sort of way…) “Really? You can do that there? (Pregnant pause) And it’s, like, legal there and nobody will say anything”?
That explains it all, you dumb cousin fucker.