Tuesday, November 25, 2008

50 Random Things

1. The longest I’ve ever gone without a haircut is 11 years.
2. I threw up on the first woman I ever had sex with in the middle of having sex.
3. I don’t enjoy eating anything sweet. No candy, cake, pies, or soda.
4. My shoe size is 15 EEE. All that confirms is that I have big boots.
5. I have 3 tattoos, two of which only 37 people have seen.
6. I only shower/bathe Monday through Friday, regardless of how dirty I get on the weekends.
7. The first thing I notice on men is their nose.
8. I’m HUGELY attracted to men with large noses.
9. I won’t talk to a man with a freakishly small nose.
10. I own every single Erasure album despite the fact I don’t enjoy listening to them anymore.
11. I purchase impulsively.
12. I rarely regret my impulsive purchases.
13. I grew up in Germany. MANY people wrongly believe I grew up in Oklahoma City.
14. Animated films keep my attention longer than any other type of film.
15. I believe I am the world’s absolute best driver.
16. I love dogs, but after the two I have now die I will never have another.
17. Even though I know it’s wrong, I have 2 power strips with a total of 16 items plugged into one electrical outlet.
18. The first time I ate seafood was 2 years ago.
19. I absolutely cannot deuce outside of my house.
20. I once went to Canada for a week and didn’t deuce the entire time I was gone.
21. I’m currently addicted to beef enchiladas.
22. I don’t “pleasure read”, though I used to. I think books are dumb.
23. I won a fully restored 1965 Mercedes from the purchase of a $5 raffle ticket.
24. I prefer to drive older cars/motorcycles.
25. If I could convince Jed to downsize everything we have to be able to fit and live in an Airstream trailer, I’d do it in a second.
26. I prefer music from the 80’s over anything that’s played on the radio today.
27. Between 1998 and 1999 I went on 476 dates with 476 different men.
28. I only had sex with two of them.
29. Okay, three.
30. I prefer to do my own automobile maintenance, which may explain why I prefer older vehicles…because new vehicles are impossible to work on without a degree in computer engineering.
31. I cook almost every meal every day.
32. I hate Madonna and Cher and many people use this to question my sexuality.
33. I’m heavier than I’ve ever been in my life, but when I see myself in a mirror, I see myself at my 18 year old weight.
34. I’ve had my left eardrum grafted with pigskin, twice. I have 80% hearing loss, but many people don’t realize it when talking to me.
35. I once threw up in my hand while Jed was driving me home and handed it to him. I was, of course, slightly drunk.
36. I never learned how to swim.
37. I have 4 laptops in my house, 3 of which are mine.
38. I won second place in an “emerging artist” contest in 7th grade and never produced another piece after the contest.
39. I’m terrified of mice and rats.
40. I’m friends with every single person I consider an “ex”. In fact, we often still travel with my exes.
41. In 1988 I survived, almost exclusively, on IHOP’s $1.99 “Grand Slam” breakfast for every meal.
42. I have an unnatural obsession with MS Money.
43. Of ALL the people I’ve dated, I only have one regret for the way things ended.
44. I feel people have lost the ability to communicate effectively in person and it saddens me.
45. I collect patches and squished pennies.
46. I drink an unhealthy amount of coffee and am too embarrassed to even say how much.
47. Last month I fulfilled a life-long fantasy and ate an entire bucket of fried chicken skin.
48. The first year I lived in my current house I refused to hang any sort of window coverings on any of my windows. I “lived in a fishbowl” so that the neighbors could see in and have nothing to gossip about.
49. I think Funyun’s are the world’s best snack, ESPECIALLY if you have cheddar cheese sauce to dunk them in.
50. I think it’s hysterical that so many people read this crap I write but never comment.

51. I’ve had a total of 5 body parts pierced in my life, but don’t have any of the holes filled anymore and wouldn’t do it again if I had a chance to do it all over.


Anonymous said...

Frederick here's a comment for you. You are gay! The end!

Bjorn said...

Nice. I will do the same on my blog tonight for you...but I hate madonna and cher too. i also hate mariah carey

Kevin in Danbury said...


Nessa said...

Yay home poopers! lol!

Anonymous said...

most people don't even know what funyons are.
Though give me a moon pie and a grape nehi and I'm happy. Both of which I have not had in over 15 years.

Southern Boy said...

I, too, drink so much coffee that I am ashamed of my addiction.
Ok, I'm lying. I'm fucking proud of how much coffee I drink. Tomorrow, Thanksgiving? I will probably pay for Juan Valdez's retirement villa.

Kay said...

Oh, you are so sweet to give me a shoutout (#2).

Umm...you need to rephrase #19 to say "unless it is a Code Brown bonafide emergency".

As for #27, let me say I am so happy you met Jed on that last date because I really couldn't face hearing about any more dates. Especially because at the time I wasn't going on any. Yes, still bitter.

Wasabi Funyuns are the best!

And #51...I still love the story of that one unfortunate body piercing and how it "came out". I'm still sorry about how much it hurt, though.