“C” as in …

This English class I’m taking this semester is similar to the one I took over the summer semester. Basically, you write 7 papers and they are either “accepted” or “rejected” and you have to keep submitting them until 7 are “accepted”. There’s no feedback or grading scale on any of the papers, just “accepted” or “rejected”. After the 7 papers are accepted you have to take a test in class, which is basically another paper. If it is accepted, you’re guaranteed a “C” in the class. After you’ve passed the test, you have two more papers due between the test and the end of the semester. Both papers have to be accepted on first draft. The first paper accepted guarantees you a “B”, the second guarantees you an “A”.

We had the test in class last week. We were given a short story to read and then had to draft an analysis of the story based on the 6 elements of story writing. IMHO, reading sucks balls, and not in a good way. I DO NOT “pleasure read”. I don’t enjoy “pleasure reading”. There was a time when I did, when I didn’t have other obligations, but now I just don’t have the time. My idea of “pleasure reading” is reading manuals of anything. If you want to learn everythinasg you need to know about how to operate, say, a new phone, send me the manual. I LOVE TECHNICAL MANUALS. I HATE BOOKS. (Ironically, I LOVES reading blogs too!!!)

As I was saying. Last week we took the test in class. I can, without much thought, spew a bunch or nonsensical words onto a page and have it make (mostly) sense. So I looked around at the distressed faces in my class; guys tugging on their hair; girls half-crying, as I wrote…and wrote…and wrote. At the end of class I got up and told the prof that I had emailed him MY DRAFT of my paper. I didn’t write it out by hand because: A) I only had two sheets of paper; B) My hand cramps if I write more than my name. I went in last night to review my draft and submit my final copy. I grabbed my folder and made my way to my seat when I noticed written on the paper, “C-test accepted 11/18”. I must say I was quite pleased. I looked over my paper, however, and there were so many elementary errors in the paper that made ME cringe. I honestly don’t know how the paper was accepted, other than, perhaps, he was basing it on my PAST performance? There was a sentence in the paper that read, “The overall theme of the story serves as a warning to out-of-touch suburban parents who think they’re kids…” IDA totally not accepted “they’re” in place of “their”. Another sentence I forgot to use the pluralized “parent’s” instead of “still lived in his parent house”. ELEMETARY MISTAKES. On MY evaluation, the page was peppered with them, but he accepted it nonetheless. For that I am grateful. Just two more papers to write now between yesterday and December 9th!!!

Last week we had our third Algebra test as well. I didn’t think it was that hard. Granted I didn’t blow through it like I had the previous two, but I felt confident when I walked out of the class. As professor hottie britches was handing the papers back last Wednesday he made the comment that he didn’t realize this test he had written was difficult and that people shouldn’t worry about the grades posted at the top of them because he was going to try to find some way to curve the grades, but wasn’t sure how yet. He said that he didn’t want to give folks too much of a credit curve because if they didn’t “get it” then they obviously were going to need some extra help. So I was QUITE SURPRISED when he handed me my test and I had gotten a “95”!!! Apparently the next highest grade was a 72. Monday night someone asked him if he had decided how he was going to curve it yet and he said he hadn’t. He added that “obviously people who scored lower on the test would get more additional points than people who scored higher on the test.” WTF? I don’t understand that. If (F)REDDY SET the curve, shouldn’t I be entitled to the same number of “extra points” as the fucktard(s) who didn’t bother to STUDY? How is that fair to me to give the dumb racist cunt an extra 20 points to get her into the SEVENTY RANGE and not give me the same consideration? I just don’t understand.

In related news, I still hate history and can’t wait for that fucking class to be over. With any luck I’ll EARN a “B”, but I won’t be crying for a curve in it…BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I FUCKING EARNED.

NOW…

TIGHTEN UP YOUR BRITCHES AND GET READY FOR THE MOST PRECIOUS THING YOU’LL READ TODAY!!!

This morning at the coffee shop Adrian asked for some money so he could get some candy from the gumball machine. I told him I didn’t have any, so he did what any other 4 year old would have done in the same situation. He turned to the owner/barista and said, “Can I have a job”!!! NO KIDDING! I don’t know where that came from, but the kid is too much!