Leap of faith...or more like dumb blonde luck.

Yesterday at the office I noticed my dear sweet Kevin in Danbury on the gchat and noticed he had a cutesy little icon next to his name…a webcam icon. I hadn’t realized gchat HAD audio/video chat now and thought it would be cool to video chat with Kevin, since I hadn’t seen him since our last trip to NYC.

I downloaded the program for the gchat chat chat and installed it. When it started up and did the configuration I was bummed to notice the little blue light on my webcam hadn’t come on. No worries. You typically have to restart your computra after an install, right? I closed everything up and clicky clickied on the start button and restarted my baby. But…then…something…dreadful…happened! My computra didn’t restart. It never shut down. It kept spinning and spinning like Pete Burns (PRE-sex change). I ended up having to do a hard close on my machine to get it to shut down. No worries.

When the computer started whirling again, it went through the standard, “you were an idiot and didn’t shut down properly…I’m going to take 20 minutes to scan your drives to be sure nothing is fucked up”. It never finished. It shut itself down, midway, and restarted again…the second time, it DID finish the disc scan. I IMMEDIATELY went to my add/remove programs button to undo what I had just did. Unistalled the WHOLE enchilada, beans, AND rice. I restarted my computer again, and even though it shut down properly, when it booted back up again it went through the whole disc scan again. I thought it was odd, but honestly didn’t think much of it.

After everything was set right in the world again I opened up my cybercam program to verify my camera was working again. No blue light. Nothing…except a message saying “no camera detected, plug that thing in and let me look again”. (My computer is even sassier than me sometimes!) I went through my entire device manager thing and noticed that the “video devices” were no longer an option for me. I knew I had JUST used the camera, because I had used it to post that totally awesome picture of my new wallet on January 7th. So I did what any rational thinking queer would do.

I did a system restore to the last restore point right before the 7th. I KNEW my camera worked on the 7th (MUST do more video conferencing!!!), therefore restoring my system to right before that point would solve everything. The restore took about 6 minutes and the computer shut itself down to reboot.

When it came back on…IT WENT THROUGH THE DISC SCAN AGAIN! Jesus H. Christ. I went back to the device manager, still no video devices. Went back to the cybercam program JUST TO VERIFY what I already knew, no blue light and same message about no camera found…yadda yadda yadda, plug it in, I’ll give it a tug, we can video conference” message. I tried to do an “add hardware” command, “no new hardware found”. I felt a little defeated.

I knew I had to get my camera fixed pronto. If not for my legions of adoring fans who love pictures of my super hot, humble, self, then so I can have video conference with Jed for the next 9 weeks while I’m back in school so he doesn’t forget what I look like.

I logged on to the HP Help Desk “instachat” thingymabob. After a GRUELING hour and 40 minutes text chat with my technician, he informed me, “Mr. (F)reddy, your computer sir, is, how we say, FUBAR. You know FUBAR? It mean FUCKT UP BEYOND REPAIRS we can do on the intrawebs”. He went on to say, “HOWEVER, I have good news for you Mr. (F)reddy. I have looked at your purchase history and your computer we are try to fix today sir is covered under HP’s warranty sir. And what I am going to do is send you a box and a FedEx label. You, sir, will send us your computer and we will have it fixed and back to you within three days”.

PHENOMENAL.

EXCEPT.

WHY COULDN’T THIS HAVE HAPPENED IN THE LAST SEVEN WEEKS?

WHY did it have to happen THE NIGHT BEFORE I GO BACK TO SCHOOL?

WHAT THE HELL am I supposed to use for school until…

Oh wait! It should be back before Monday, right?!?

Today I spent the better part of the day doing a back up of my files and programs. I’m trusting I did it correctly. Cuz I got about 40 gb of videos from using a bulb syringe to pull bloody mucous plugs from Nathan’s nose and other awesome events from my children’s first 4 years. I’ve got about 37 gb of pictures that I will die if I never get to see again. I have 83 gb of music. I’ve got EVERY SINGLE document I’ve ever created since my umbilical cord dropped off saved in my documents. (Not quite sure how much space that takes up).

I’m mostly bummed because I have programs that I purchased and use frequently that won’t come with a factory reimaged machine. I’m worried about my contacts. I’m worried about my OCD calendars. (Seriously people, you have NO idea how bad my calendar addiction is. I have menus and grocery lists already made out through 2017.) I’m worried about the programs that I bought online that I didn’t save passwords for “unlocking”. Mostly, though, I’m worried about my memories. I ain’t shit without my computer. I can’t even remember my sweet precious boyfriend, Robert’s, name without my computer.

I suppose CHECKING the “backup” would be the most obvious thing to do to VERIFY everything copied over. And I did look…but all the files in the back up are zipped, or otherwise compressed. It’s not like I can just click on the “My Pictures” link and see all of my photos (arranged alphabetically by persons in the picture, location taken, year taken, approximate time of day taken, and what I was thinking when I took the picture). Same thing with the music. I’m basically taking a leap of faith that technology is saving the $32 MILLION dollars I’ve spent on music over the last three decades (I itemize for the IRS, that’s how I’m able to give you exact figures).

I’ll be sending my life-line to the world to some anonymous stranger in Malaysia to blow the pubic hair out from under the key board and fix my stupid, STUPID camera (and other system failures). If you don’t hear from me ever again it’s because I didn’t save my contacts, favorites, or RSS feeds correctly…I haven’t died, nor have you angered me.

MOSTLY, however, I want to say, KEVIN YOU’RE A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG FOR HAVING GOOGLE AUDIO/VISUAL ON YOUR COMPUTER AND MAKING ME WANT TO TALK TO YOU YESTERDAY. YOU’RE DEAD IN MY EYES. YOU HEAR ME? DEAD.

Hope you’re well...AND enjoying your new president. Oh, and in case you missed it! CLASSES started back up tonight…so there’s a chance, if you don’t hear from me for a while, THAT has something to do with it too!

So...I'm just a little late

I mentioned several weeks ago that I had FINALLY figured out what was wrong with my video editing thingamabob and that I had several videos to get out. They seem kind of silly and pointless now; Christmas, New Years...events long since past? Nah! I beat that 30-day self-imposed deadline! I guess I should have done them in order too? But this is MY blog and I'll confuse you with randomocity if I want to.

Lady and Gents, I give you our 2009 NYE!

Rachel Ray is the spawn of Santa

One of the things I hate about Rachel Ray, besides everything, is the amount of dishes her recipes take to make. I’ve blogged in the past about what a crock of pooh her “30-minute recipes” are. While they might be tasty, they certainly take more than 30 minutes to make…unless you happen to have a staff of sous chefs waiting at your beckon call with all your chopped up veggies and meats and stuff.

Jed’s mom bought me Rachel’s “Big Orange Book” for Christmas and I’ve made a couple of the recipes this weekend. Tasty, yes. But the clean-up has taken a better part of the weekend for each meal. I didn’t get a photo of the first dinner, but I did catch the aftermath.

Saturday night’s dinner was Shepherd’s pie with a grilled shrimp tomato salad with a horseradish yogurt dressing. The dinner was delicious. The dishes were a pain in the ass.

Tonight I made a Philly Cheesesteak macaroni and cheese with a Romaine/pepper/artichoke salad drizzled with a balsamic vinegarette dressing. Again, the food was the bomb digity bomb bomb, but seriously, can’t Rachel cook anything without using every pot/dish/utensil in my house?

Was it worth it?

You betcha.

Another thing I’ve noticed is her book is full of errors. Both recipes I’ve made from her book had errors. For example, in the Shepherd’s pie I was supposed to start by crisping 5 pieces of bacon and then set aside. Done. But nowhere in the rest of the recipe did it say where it was supposed to be added back in. I ended up crumbling it up and sticking it in the meat mixture…but in hindsight, I wish I would have crumbled it up and mixed it in with the bleu cheese mashed potatoes before putting it all up under the broiler. Next time, the bacon is going in the mashed potatoes. Tonight’s dinner called for 2 cups of shredded Provolone cheese. In the Bechamel it called to mix 1 ½ cups of the shredded cheese with the sauce. Then for the grand finale it called to “spread the remaining 1 ½ cups of shredded provolone” over the top of the mac before putting it under the broiler. My 4.0 tells me that 1 ½ and 1 ½ equals THREE cups, not two. You’d think the devil would have better editors.

December Challenge Day 31

DEAR BESSIE I’m glad this month is OVER!

So I sorta made the challenge, eh? I missed only a day or two? Not bad.

The boys and I had a great day. We started off the morning returning all of our duplicate Christmas gifts. The only frustration was at Best Buy trying to exchange season 4 of Oz for Season 6. They only wanted to credit me the “lowest advertised price” for the set and have me pay the difference DESPITE the fact that both sets were the same price. They said that since I didn’t have the receipt they had to assume that it was bought at the sales price. I said, “With that logic I have to assume that season 6 was on sale the same time season 4 was on sale and purchased therefore I shouldn’t have to pay the difference”. They didn’t see it that way, so I still have two sets of season 4 of hot prison love.

We made our “magic wands” later in the morning. Honestly the boys had more fun throwing confetti around the dining room than they did actually helping me out with the project. I have it all on video and I’ll be posting that in a bit…more on that later.

We took lunch up to Poppa at work and had lunch with him. At this point the boys were beginning their morning melt-down, so I rushed home and the three of us took a nap.

We made pizza for dinner and then the four of us hoped on the #5 to head downtown for “First Night” festivities. It’s Austin’s NYE celebration. I noticed earlier in the week they had built this huge, gorgeous 3-story wooden clock down on Auditorium shores. I heard on the news that it was a “resolution clock” that was basically an effigy to resolutions that was set to be set ablaze at 8 this evening. I was partly disappointed they were going to torch it, cuz it was that nice, but I was also excited for the boys to see it. We ass u med the bus would be a better, safer, option for us to get downtown…and we wouldn’t have to fight for parking. As it turns out, the buses were on “parade route”, therefore they dropped us off at 12^th and Congress and we had to hoof it the 13 blocks to auditorium shores. We made the most of it.

After having family fun down at First Night, I decided I’d rather catch a pedicab to get back to 12^th rather than carry the 35 lb. boys all the way back up there. I don’t know how or why, but Jed and I always manage to find the ONE pedicab driver that can’t support our weight. Seriously, we could have gotten back to the Capital faster on foot, but it was nice not having to carry the kids. AND it didn’t hurt the cabbie was on the cuter side (and I use that term loosely, cuz none of them were all that!). He got us back just in time for us to see our bus drive right past us. So we had to sit and wait 30 minutes for the next one. We ended up not getting home until 1030…WAY past the boys bedtime and, honestly, after mine.

I FINALLY figured out a way to get around with the problem I’ve been having with editing my videos lately. I’m bummed I haven’t been able to post or send our Christmas day video to my folks (or my interwebs stalkers) yet…but I’ve been having problems with my program. I was having the same frustrating problems editing the videos I took today and ended up downloading a different (older) version of the software and it seems to be working now. HOWEVER, as it’s 1137 in the pm, I’m too tired to work on it tonight…so I’ll get it out when I can.

It’s been a real pleasure getting to know some of you better throughout this past year. Looking forward to writing more for you and reading more of you. Hope you and yours have a safe and happy new year.

And with that, the challenge is O-V-E-R!!! YAAAAAY ME!

December Challenge Day 29

So I’m a failure. I failed the challenge. I hang my head in shame. Perhaps picking a busy holiday month was not the brightest idea I ever had.

We had a very busy weekend. As I mentioned we made a trip to Ikea on Saturday and bought a new table and some chairs. LOVE it. The problem with me and Ikea is that Ikea becomes a drug for me and I can’t get enough of it. So we went back on Sunday…and bought even more furniture and stuff. I’ve officially spent a fortune. AND spent even more hours putting everything together yesterday.

Yia Yia decided to go back home to Galveston early yesterday. Apparently I was an asshole on Saturday and got into a disagreement with Jed (in front of her). And apparently conflict is uncomfortable. In MY family we often get into disagreements, heated at times, with each other in front of each other. The tide rises and then falls, immediately and life moves on. THIS is NOT how it works in Jed’s family. So I’m an asshole and I made it uncomfortable in my house. Apologies.

The weekend wasn’t a total loss. With YY here, Jed and I were able to go out for a date night on Saturday (EVEN AFTER THE ASSHOLERY). We went to the movies and got to see our first non-animated film in a year. We saw “Milk”, and I enjoyed it. I had heard the story of Harvey before and even seen “The Life of Harvey Milk”. But what I didn’t know was what happened to the ancillary players after the fact. (IOW: What ever happened to Dan White?) Glad to know he took care of himself.

Today was a semi-return to normalcy. I over-slept this morning so I was late getting Adrian and Nathan back to “school”. School is technically out until 1/5, but Adrian is enrolled in an Extend-A-Care program for the rest of the holiday week and Nathan is in daycare during the day until both of them start back in real school. I found out when I dropped Nathan off at daycare that they’re closed Wednesday through Friday this week. WHO THE HELL HAS THAT MUCH TIME OFF? I guess me.

One thing I’m a bit bummed out about with Jed’s mom going home is I had bought a 15 pound ham for NYE dinner…and now there’s just the four of us to eat it. I’m thrilled I’ll have enough ham left over for ham and eggs, scalloped potatoes, etc…but the prospect of eating 15 pounds of ham leaves me feeling a bit gassy and unclean.

Sorry this rambled. That’s kind of how I’m feeling today…a bit scrambled.

December Challenge Day 26

I had to laugh at a twitter post from my dear sweet Sean earlier today. He was appalled by a dining room set he found at Goodwill for $800. You see, that's what I spent my day looking at, and the thinga ain't cheap. The one I found that I liked the most was $4000.00. I had a problem spending more on a dining room table than I did on my first car. We ended the day at Ikea, where we settled on a table and chairs and I spent the better part of 3 hours when we got home putting it all together. Do I like it as much as the 4k one at the Amish furniture store? Probably not. But it suits our current needs, and by the time the boys learn how to get more food in their mouths than on the table, I might be willing to go make the investment in something nicer.

Have a great weekend folks.

December Challenge Day 22

For some bizarre reason, between 10 pm last night and 515 this morning my SIM card in my cell phone fried itself, dead. This now makes two days in a week’s time that I’ve not had my cell phone with me during the day. I cannot believe how lost I feel without the damn thing. I am a crack whore and, apparently, my cell phone is my crack. I was in a cold sweat the better part of the day.

If I never see the inside of another Target in my lifetime it’ll be too soon. Yes, I filled up the tank so I could make yet ANOTHER trip to my local Target. I swear one of these days I’m going to win a door prize for being the one millionth customer or something.

We have been super busy tonight getting our house in tip-top shape for the “big day” on Thursday. I plan on videotaping the wrapping paper massacre that’s sure to take place after the kids toss their gifts from the jolly fat man aside. Perhaps that’ll even be my blog-o-the-day post on Christmas day. I KNOW you’re dying to hear me scream at my children on film.

In preparation we cleaned up our dog’s bedroom. She has completely torn that shit up. I don’t know what she was looking for in there, but she tore that shit up. FOR REAL, she tore that shit up. Jed did a bang up job cleaning up her room (for his mommy, who is coming to our casa for the Christmas carnage)…but he brought PILES AND PILES of “stuff” into the living room (which I was supposed to be cleaning) to sort through. He basically cleaned his room by messing up mine! Ain’t that love? Don’t answer. It was rhetorical.

The good news about Jed doing a through cleaning of Sam’s room was that he found tons and tons of paper products that I could just recycle. IE: Time Warner bills from 2006. Since we haven’t HAD Time Warner SINCE 2006 I felt it was a safe recycle. It feels GREAT purging that much stuff.

I’ve decided that after the boys have their fun tearing up my freshly cleaned house on Thursday that I’m going to have them each fill up a (large) box of old(er) toys to get rid of before they’re allowed to open any of their new stuff. Call me Scrooge, call me a dick. Call me what you want, but I prefer practical.

I gotta get to sleep. I’m exhausted. The next 2 days are going to be INSANELY crazy for me. Happy Monday, yo. For real.

P.S. Sean, you sure got some real pretty handwriting.

December Challenge Day 21

Folks, I gotta make this quick! I can't believe I almost missed it today. Curses, where has my day gone...

(tick tick tick tick)

I got to sleep in a bit this morning. Jed and I split the weekends so each of us get to sleep in late at least one day a week. And by late, I mean I didn't have to get up at 530 this morning, I got to sleep until 615. The very first thing I did when I woke up this morning was run to Target for my 113th time this week. You know it's bad when the person who checks you out (er, uh, rings you up) A) says, "HI (F)REDDY" when you walk up to the register and B) is the same cashier that rang you up at 1030 the night before. BUT since today WAS Sunday AND the start of a new sales circular week I felt it was necessary to run up there to find anything I may be missing. NOT TO MENTION I still hadn't found the gifties for Cousin Ash's husband, Derwood. WHAT TO YOU BUY AN ACCTUARY? Every place I've been is out of hand stitched leather pocket protectors...so I was a little lost. I FINALLY got a text message from Ash about som Wii games he wanted, so I ran up there to see if I could find them. NO SUCH LUCK. I DID happen to notice, however, that the Dual Screen DVD players that I found on Black Friday for $88 that immediately went up to $164 the hour following Black Friday were back on sale for $83. I went ahead and bought it as a back up gift just in case I couldn't find the Wii games anywhere. The thing is, ASH is the one who wanted the DVD player for the car, NOT Derek.

I went home and loaded up the family and we drove to Columbus to drop Adrian off with grandma. Relax bitches. Columbus, Texas, not Columbus, Crazy. We had a delightful lunch at Schoebles (pronounced "Shy-bulls" for you Yankee folks), seriously, it was FANTASTIC. We couldn't get Adrian and his crap out of the car fast enough before we got back on the road to come back to Austin.

We stopped at the South Austin Wally World, the ONLY place I could find on-line inventory listings that had the Wii Game Donald wants for Christmas. AS A BONUS, the game was on sale in the store for cheaper than it was on the web. Daniel better be DAMN happy with this game for as much as I did to get him something HE wanted!Got home and napped with the bug while Jed visited with our dear sweet Heath-O (Pronounced "Heath-O" for you Yankee folk).

When I woke up I ran some errands in this order:

Furniture in the Raw: We've been looking for a new dining room set. We found one we really liked there in November for about $180 (for the table) and $80/ea. for the chairs. There was a commercial on T.V. last night that the entire store was 50% off...so I went. I, jokingly, said to Jed on the way to Columbus (TEXAS) this morning that I'd be willing to bet my third testicle that the store marked their prices up 85% to give 50% off. AND I WASN'T TOO FAR OFF. The table that we liked A MONTH AGO was marked up to $999 with a 50% off sale price of $499. STILL $210 MORE than it was originally a month ago. OH, and those chairs. Today's price $274/ea. marked 50% off. FUCK YOU furniture in the raw, fuck you very much.

HEB: Jed asked for Chicken Pot Pie for dinner tonight. After I pulled the car out of the ditch I drove into when he said it I said, "OKAY", without giving him a chance to change his mind. Cuz TRUST me when I say my boo ain't a chicken pot pie kind of guy. Perhaps it had something to do with the bitter cold weather this morning???

Target: AGAIN. For real. I've been to Target 3 times today and I think "Ryan" the cashier thinks I'm stalking him. But I had to return the DVD player and buy Jed some fru-fru peppermint flavored mocha frappasumthing.

Crestview IGA: I was outta beer and there was a little girl in there selling fresh hot tamales that I bought...

Dinner was just getting out of the oven when I got home and Heath-O joined us for a family dinner. Out of habit we grabbed the "guest chair" for her place at the table and then we all realized Adrian wasn't there. BOO HOO. So quiet in our house tonight.

I wrapped 513 Christmas presents tonight while we listened to Christmas music and Jed asked me how much a GPS unit costs these days. It was while looking on-line that I realized I hadn't entertained you people yet today...and so here I am.

What a super fantastic weekend. Hope y'alls was swell too. Gearing up for an UN-believably busy holiday week. But you know what? I'm blessed with a super fantastic family and a great group of friends (both IRL and IIL)...so it's all worth every second that I don't have to myself.

December Challenge Day 19

December 19, 2005 I went to Georgetown, Texas to meet Nathan and find out when he was going to get to live with us. CPS ended up throwing a car seat in the back of my Jeep and wished me luck as I headed out of the parking lot.

It’s been a mostly wonderful 3 years. Yeah, sure there was that almost two year period with the social worker who ended up being a felon and had to have our case start over from scratch. And there’s that whole “not talking” thing (WHICH, now that he’s talking doesn’t seem as bad…in hindsight).

We’re a family of celebrations. We celebrate each day each boy came to live with us. We celebrate the days that both of us got to adopt each of them. We celebrate the birthdays, the first poopie in the toilet days, the first made it through the day without getting in trouble at school days (haven’t had any of those yet!). But these days that each of the boys came into our lives are extra special for me. They’re the equivalent of having my water broke, it’s the only similar experience I can think of.

So tonight we celebrated 3 great years with Nathan in our lives.

That was then:



This is now:

December Challenge Day 18

Since the last two posts have been boringly serious, let’s aim for levity today, shall we?

I’ve been sitting on these pics for about a week now. After the Chuck E. Cheeses party Adrian and I went to last weekend we stopped by my gal-pal, Elizabeth’s house. She had gotten a couple of pot bellied pigs about a year or so ago and had been wanting the boys to meet them. I don’t know how it works in the rest of the country, but here in Texas our farm animals are 100% fully integrated!

This here is Nathan…cautiously optimistic that the pig won’t eat him.



This are my friend, Elizabreast. She’s a hottie WITH a body.



Where do you feed YOUR pigs?



I had mentioned to Nathan the best way to dispose of a body is to feed it to the pigs. You can understand his apprehension in waving a cucumber slice near his mouth.



Adrian, however, was fearless and didn’t believe me when I told him about the dead bodies.



YES, everyone in Texas has pigs in their house. Just deal with it ya damn Yankees.

December Challenge Day 17

Forgive me in advance. I was at the school today in a 3 hour meeting with the vice-principal and the counselor. Little was resolved and we both need to be back tomorrow at 150 to add the teacher into the exact same mix. That was my day. Needless to say I am in a shit mood, and this is all you get.

December Challenge Day 16

I’ve had a really weird day. I woke up in a surprisingly fantastic mood following a night of restless sleep. I’m not sure why I didn’t sleep well. The boys and I had a great morning. There were few spills at breakfast. No tears while getting dressed and getting off to school.

I should back up about 13 hours before I woke up…

Everyone knows we’ve been having behavioral issues with Adrian at school. These past two weeks have been horrible. We had worked out an “improvement plan” with his teacher, wherein she was supposed to fill out a daily calendar and send it home every night so we could see exactly where it was he was falling down on his behavior. Jed had ANOTHER parent/teacher conference with her this past Friday, and I guess since she had met with him she decided it wasn’t worth sending a daily report home. According to Adrian he had a “good day” on Friday. When I dropped him off at school yesterday she said he, in fact, hadn’t had a good Friday. When I picked him up yesterday he again, was missing his daily report. His after school peeps reported he had a fantastic afternoon and was very well behaved. Since his folder wasn’t in his backpack I asked him how his day was. He said it was “good” and that he “listened to his teacher”. I took him at his word, and we had a great evening. We went to the store and bought a gingerbread men(s) kit to take to his class for a fun project and ordered a tray of sammiches for his holiday party tomorrow afternoon. We had a great night.

So back to this morning…

As I said, I was in a surprisingly good mood when I woke up this morning. I took him to school and went in with the gingerbread kit. When I got to the classroom I handed it to her and mentioned how I saw it and thought it’d be fun for the class. I also mentioned how I had ordered the sammiches for the party and she said, “Oh thank you so much. Not many parents signed up for stuff and I was worried. I really appreciate it…” and in the same breath, without skipping a beat, she dropped her chin to her chest and her eyes to the ground and said, “Did Jed get my message about yesterday”? And I was clueless, but knew that I was fixing to get the wind full on blasted out of my sails. I told her I didn’t think so because he hadn’t said anything to me about a phone call from her. And then she went into a tirade about what a complete and total shit Adrian was yesterday. I swear to god I went from 70 to 0 in 1.7 seconds. She also told me that she had to send him to the principal, who then sent him to the counselor, who decided it would be best for both of us to come in again to talk to the teacher, the principal, AND the counselor. I looked at Adrian and said, “You told me you had a good day yesterday”. And he just looked like he was going to cry. And so I told him to not worry about it, we’d discuss it later. I told him to have a good day and to try as hard as he could to be a good boy today.

So I was ten-shades of pissed for getting bamboozled while in my good mood. While I take responsibility for my son’s behavior, I was mostly angry that if she was having issues with my child that she needed to follow through with HER responsibilities and commitments. Why the fuck didn’t she send a note home with her “issues”? I steamed for a better part of the day. I can’t tell you what being told what a horrible child your son is EVERY SINGLE DAY does to you. I get filled with anxiety EVERY SINGLE DAY that I have to take him to and pick him up from school. I can’t stand to walk in that building any more. I can’t stand forcing him to go into a place I know he CLEARLY isn’t enjoying.

So I picked him up this afternoon, hole in my stomach, filled with anxiety. I got him from extend-a-care and Mr. Hottie Bobby came up and said that Adrian had a FANTASTIC afternoon; he was really well behaved; and he was just a joy to be around today. I grabbed Adrian’s backpack and I’ll be fucked to ever loving tears if his mother fucking notebook wasn’t in there again today. So I asked Bobby if he knew how his morning was and Bobby said his teacher didn’t mention anything about it. She, of course, leaves at fucking 2 o’clock every day, so there’s no fucking chance for me to talk to her about whether or not he behaved today. I asked Adrian how his day was and he, as always, says it was “good” and that he listened to his teacher. And, as usual, I have to take him at his word.

To say I was livid when I got home is an understatement. I am so angry with his teacher right now. One would think that in this time when WE are supposed to be getting HIS behavior in check that SHE would take the fucking ONE MINUTE A DAY to fill out his fucking calendar with a SYMBOL representative of how his hours went. It’s not rocket science the routine we’ve come up with. It’s a fucking calendar with ONE HOUR TIME BLOCKS through a regular day and she either puts a “STAR” for “excellent behavior”; a “SMILEY” for “pretty good behavior, minimal redirection needed”; a “STERN FACE” for “not to good, but not horrible. Needed lots of redirection”; or a “FROWN FACE” for “I wanted to kill him”. IT’S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE. WHY IS IT SO FUCKING DIFFICULT TO MAKE SURE IT COMES HOME EACH DAY?

The negative side to this frustration is it (I KNOW THIS IS WHERE I FAIL AS A PARENT AND A PARTNER) makes me take it out on MY FAMILY. When Jed got home I was angry, and loud talking about my frustration. And while it isn’t directed AT HIM, it comes off as me attacking him. And regardless of what the boys do I find myself being hypersensitive to their behavior and overreacting for the most ridiculous of tiny offenses. PERFECT EXAMPLE: I asked Adrian to sit in a chair and watch Suess’s “Grinch” when we got home. After the third time of him getting up and walking around I flew off the proverbial handle and put him in his pajamas and told him to go to bed…AT FIVE FORTY FIVE IN THE EVENING. I KNOW my reaction wasn’t rational. But I don’t know how else to get him to “listen” to his teacher…or me.

The thing is, I don’t have a problem with Adrian and his behavior. BOBBY doesn’t have a problem with Adrian and his behavior. NOBODY has a problem with Adrian and his behavior EXCEPT FOR HIS TEACHER. She’s THE ONLY person who can’t connect with him and get him to “perform” for her. And I don’t know where the disconnect is. This whole school experience has turned me into a monster and I don’t know what to do about it. So Adrian is in his room in his pajamas in his bed crying…and I’m in the kitchen feeling like a shitty parent.

I don’t want to “out kid” the kids. I WANT them to enjoy the best parts of their lives…their childhood. I don’t want my child to respect me because he fears me, I want my child to respect me because I’VE EARNED HIS RESPECT. I failed my son as a parent today. Today I don’t feel like I’ve earned anything except for a hot steamy pile of shit in my mouth.

Eventually I had Jed play “good cop” and go get Adrian out of his bed. We had a wonderful family dinner. And I tried to refocus and end the day on a positive note. After dinner, Adrian and I…

Made a Gingerbread House…and reconnected…and made the best out an incredibly shitty day.

Enjoy.

December Challenge Day 13

I’ve had my tits slung over the stove ALL friggin’ day. Well, except for that hour I had to go hang with the straighties this morning followed by the hour at the grocery market followed by the hour and a half nap with the kids. With the exception of THOSE few precious hours, I’ve been in the kitchen ALL EFFIN’ day. Did we rewind to Thanksgiving? It sure feels like it.

So I wanted to put some drivel out for you, the ones who are expecting me to fail miserably in the challenge. I figure if I get this put out by midnight on the west coast, I’ve complied with the rules of the challenge.

TOP CHEF:

Cuz I’m a…

Anyway, so I spent the day in the kitchen finalizing 2/3 of the treats that I’m making for the holidays for friends, teachers, Jed’s co-workers, etc. The kids helped me out a bunch, and had a lot of fun. We made about 12 pounds of spicy pretzels; chocolate covered pretzels (they didn’t turn out too pretty, but, as Adrian said, “Drizzlin’ chocolate is the shit, pops”; chocolate covered Oreos (again, drizzle baby, drizzle); and 18 pounds of caramel corn. I’ve still got a little bit left to do tomorrow, but…hopefully it won’t take me the entire again. I’ve gone through a minimum of 180 Ziplock baggies; 28 sticks of butter; 8 pounds of brown sugar; 6 pounds of chocolate; and a gallon of corn syrup. I’ve literally used more butter today than I have all of last year.

Cinderfella, Cinderfella, all he hears is Cinderfella:

The boys played hurricane Ike in their room today, minus the water. The room looked like a bomb had gone off. Jed cleaned it three times. On the third time, he decided to start pulling toys out, leaving each boy with 5 toys. There’s a little anger in the house tonight. The boys are angry cuz they only have 5 toys each. Jed’s angry cuz he had to be the Grinch who stole the gifts of Christmas past.

Toilet madness:

I don’t know how often the rest of the planet goes through toilet seats, but I seem to be cursed with the shittest toilet seats in America. I have, no kidding, replaced my toilet seat a minimum of 4 times in the last year. For some reason the rim keeps cracking and breaking. NOW, in case anyone is interested, I did NOT change the toilet seat today while I was doing all my cooking…but it IS on my list of shit to do tomorrow.

Satan Clause:

The shopping is officially done folks! After we had dinner last night, Jed sent me to Toys R Crap for the “Sale of the CENTURY”. He was off all day on Friday and said several times throughout the day they were advertising on the television Toys R Us’s biggest sale of the year. Jed said, “The whole store is 40-75% off”. While he was shopping throughout the day, looking for gifts for the boys, I had given him a $40 each/boy limit on the gifts. Honestly folks, we’re about to get SO MUCH STUFF over the next two weeks from all the family/friends that the thought of where to put it all has already overwhelmed me. That said, I didn’t see the need to go and buy a bunch of stuff of our own, because by the time all the gifts are opened, the boys are going to be so distracted they’re not going to care who got them what. I did buy two special gifts from Santa…

I have to say, sending ME to Toy’s R Us by myself isn’t a good idea, at all. The place is a grown up kid’s wet dream. I found so much stuff that I couldn’t live without. I ended up getting Nate some dinosaurs. The kid is REALLY into dinosaurs lately. I got Adrian a really cool kids keyboard that plugs into a regular computer and it’s got a drawing pad on the side with an electronic pen. It’s supposed to help him learn how to write and read. I have a feeling what it’s REALLY going to do is eat up some of my precious computra time. I had a lot more stuff in my basket, but I ended up putting a lot back cuz I didn’t want to go crazy.

I’m really so tired that’s all I can think of at the moment. This will have to do for day number 13, I’ll try to do better tomorrow.

December Challenge Day 11

MIND PURGE:
I’ve been mostly awake since 242 this morning. I know this, because I got up and walked into the living room to see what time it was. The funny thing is, when I woke up I felt completely refreshed. Like I seriously thought I had OVER-slept and was running late. Noticing it was only 242, I knew I should probably lay back down and try to finish out the night. But I couldn’t fall asleep, of course, UNTIL about 30 minutes before the alarm was scheduled to go off…then I was COMPLETELY knocked out. My mind, during that three hours, was racing on a variety of topics. None really interesting, mind you. BUT since I have this “challenge”, what better place to purge, eh?

THE CONTINUING SAGA OF MY TOOTHLESS ASSHOLE:
I’m so glad hot Dr. Michael from Stuttgart took the time to post a comment on my blog yesterday. He rarely does, so when he shows up it’s an extra special treat. It may have been the subject matter, given Michael is a dentist, and one that I wouldn’t mind drilling around in my mouth! But he sort of touched on something very important in follow up to yesterday’s shag-nasty story.

I went to the Dental Barn and my uber-Metrosexual dentist listened to my tale of woe. He then said, “I can do an impression for you for a new crown today, or you can continue looking for your crown for the next two days and if you find it you can bring it in and I’ll put it back on”. Now, folks, I didn’t drop the thing on the floor in my living room and just couldn’t see it. What he had in mind was totally what Jed suggested. He wanted me to filter through my pooh and look for my tooth. He said, “I know it sounds disgusting, but we do it all the time. We’ll just wash it off, pop it in our sterilizer and it’ll be cleaner than it’s been for the last 8 years you’ve had it in there”. And he actually put my mind at ease. What sealed the deal was when he said, “It’ll be the difference between $518 for a new crown, or a $20 co-pay to have the original cemented back in”.

$498 is a lot of money. It didn’t take much convincing for me to decide what I was going to do. I told his dental hygienist that I would schedule an appointment for Friday morning and that I would look for the tooth between now and then. On Friday I will either bring in a corn-covered tooth, or I’ll have a new one made. I called in sick to work (NOT GAY), stopped by my local Walgreen’s for a bottle of Mag Citrate and went home to shit myself crazy for the rest of the day looking for my tooth.

NOW, I realize I’m opening myself up to a life-time of “Your breath smells like shit” jokes. SO, I have decided that I’m NOT going to reveal, ever, whether or not I found the tooth and whether or not I’ve got a new one. If any of you meet me in person, you’ll just have to wonder yourselves for the rest of your life! So this is officially the end of my traveling tooth saga.

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME FOR THE HOLIGAYS:
Jed and I are 100% on the same page about where we spend Christmas day. Our boys WILL wake up in their own beds on Christmas day for the next dozen or so years so they can see what Satan brings them. This is our decision. It doesn’t matter what we have to do to be sure we’ll make that happen. The last couple of years we have gone to Galveston the day before Christmas eve, done the family Christmas eve spectacular on Christmas eve and then we load up the car and immediately head home at warp speed. Yeah, driving at midnight for 4 hours on Christmas eve sucks, but it’s completely worth it to see the boy’s faces on Christmas morning. THIS year, I’m not sure what’s going on. For the first time in a decade, our schedules don’t match up. Jed is off on the 24th and 25th, and I am off on the 25th and 26th. I guess the good news is we’re both off on Christmas day. But we may need to split up on Christmas eve, which totally sucks. The LAST time we split up on Christmas eve didn’t end well and I got stuck in OKC for a week! I’m having a mini-freak out about what this Christmas will look like.

ADDITIONALLY, my mind was racing about things I still have left to do “gift-wise” to finish preparing for the holidays. I still haven’t bought the boys anything. It’s hard to buy stuff before I actually need it. Living in a very small house, we have limited hiding space, and it never fails that Adrian will find it and bring it to me and ask if he can open it now. So I’ve been putting it off on one hand, but on the other hand I still don’t know what I want to get them. I also still have to get some more stuff for Cousin Ashley’s husband…whom I don’t really know that well insofar as what kind of stuff he likes…but I “drew” his name for the family gift exchange and am obligated to do so. AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT I still have to make all my candies and snacks and other stuff for all of the teachers, aides, bus drivers, etc. that are involved in the boy’s lives. I’ve got to do that this weekend…and while I love cooking, I stress out about whether or not I’ve forgotten anyone.

My dearest Walt has sent me 4 gigs of Christmas music that I’ve been playing on a non-stop loop since the beginning of December…so that’s been helping me get in the mood for Christmas and getting all this stuff done.

ABA:
I’m not talking about the Swedish pop SUPERSTARS…I’m talking about the end of this very long semester. The semester wasn’t longer than usual, it was mostly long because of the HUGE number of complete idiots in the classes I’ve had. I’ve discovered that I actually ENJOY math. Who knew? I distinctly recall, from high school, saying daily that this stuff was pointless and I’d never use it. And I was right. I’ve NEVER used it. And so when I had to take all these math classes for my degree program I had a little mini-freak-out. It turns out that I’m purdy good at this math thing. It’s like working a puzzle in a way. I killed the curve in the math class I took this semester. I was kicking myself last night because I showed up to take my final. And as professor hottie was handing out the exam he asked the idiot next to me if she had taken the last test yet. She said, “No, I’m going to take the zero and substitute it for my final”. I was confused. I said, “Huh? We don’t have to take the final”? And I was informed that the lowest test grade is dropped and that if we were fine with our previous grades we didn’t need to take the test. I’ve gotten a consistent 98, 98, 98, 94 on the four tests we’ve taken. So I technically didn’t need to take the test. BUT since I was there already AND I find it disrespectful to not show up when the professors give up their time, I decided to stay and take the test. And I’m glad I did. I really enjoyed taking that test…and that class, in general.

My history class sucks balls. I hate history. History sucks. You know why history sucks? Because everyone from history is dead, and being dead sucks. What I beat myself up about is I didn’t even have to take this fucking class. It wasn’t a requirement for my degree program. I was SUPPOSED to take a GOVERNMENT class, and I accidentally signed up for history. I didn’t realize it until a week before the final drop date, and by that point I had committed and decided to finish it. DESPITE the fact that it’s going to completely fuck up my 4.0 GPA. Because I’m going to be DAMN lucky if I get a B in the class. The final is tonight, so this is another thing that kept my mind racing.

My English Comp II class was ANOTHER freebie class that I ACCIDENTALLY signed up for this semester. I REALLY must learn to read the fine print, eh? I thought it was a logical assumption that if you were required to take ENGLISH COMP I, that English Comp II was going to be a requirement. OTHERWISE, why the fuck would you put the “I”??? So I’m beating myself up for wasting an entire semester with two classes I didn’t even need. Fortunately for me I skated through my English Comp II class. And I really, really enjoyed it. I had a mini-anxiety attack at the beginning of the semester because the Comp II class was different than the Comp I class in regards to in Comp I you were allowed to pick your own subject matter for your essays. In Comp II, we had to do literary analysis of short fiction. I think everyone is aware that I don’t “pleasure read”? I hate reading almost as much as I hate dentists (EXCEPT FOR YOU MICHAEL!). The thought of having to read 19 stories in 9 weeks filled me with dread. It ended up not being so bad, but…fine print (F)reddy, read…fine…print. As I said, SKATED by, got an A. Done with it.

While on the subject of my grades and school in general, I suppose now would be a good time to announce the results of the latest blog poll. In regards to how many classes I should take this next semester: 4 of you think I should cut back to 1 class and take 19 years to finish this damn thing; 6 of you think I should go back to the 2 that I took last semester; only 2 of you thought I did okay with the 3 classes I took this semester while maintaining my on-line life; and 2 of you thought I was too old to be in school and should finish this up quicker and take 4 classes. While I didn’t take any of the votes into serious consideration, I decided to (AND ALREADY DID) enroll in 4 classes this next semester.

WHERE ARE MY…:
The last thing that was rushing through my pea-sized brain during the early morning hours was the amount of stuff I want to get done around the house during the next 4 weeks before this next semester starts. I have NO idea how or if I’ll be able to get it done, but my list is growing. I’ll just check it off a little at a time and won’t sweat the rest.

December Challenge Day 9

Yet another Christmas post, this is a tour of some of my more favorite ornaments on the tree. This isn’t an inclusive photo blog, but some of my more favorite ornaments…

A parent’s tree wouldn’t be a parents tree without handmade ornaments from daycare from the kids. This is one that Nathan made last year.



This is one of both of our favorites. This was Adrian’s second year of daycare. He was, apparently, sick the day the photo was taken, but it gets put on our tree every year cuz it’s so fucking adorable.



And until this just completely falls apart, this will ALWAYS be our tree topper. It’s a reindeer made out of a toilet paper roll. The antlers of the reindeer are cut-outs of Adrian’s hands.



Every German household has a pickle ornament. It’s a tradition. I like my pickle.


Our dear friends, Leslie & Kevin, have made us ornaments for the last two years. I hope it’s a tradition that continues, because I truly look forward to them. (NO PRESSURE LESLIE!)





My folks picked up this one for us in Hawaii. Who doesn’t love a guy in a skirt?



A comic geeks house wouldn’t be complete without passing on the tradition to the kids. This is Nathan’s favorite comic book character.



And Adrian’s favorite???



There’s a Mexican game called “Lotteria”, which is a complete rip off of Bingo. Instead of letters and numbers though, they call pictures. There was a vendor at a street fair here in town a few years ago selling Lotteria ornaments. I liked this one.



Mukwanago is a small town in Wisconsin where my favorite of favorite relatives, Uncle Clyde, lives. It also happens to be very near the one horse town my mom grew up in. When we went to visit Clyde for my aunt’s funeral a couple of years ago we picked this one up.



Jed’s aunt started buying us the Radko collectable ornaments a few years ago. I think people are crazy for spending this much on single ornaments, but I really like them. They, of course, go at the very top of the tree so the boys can’t reach them.

Radko’s cupcake.



Radko’s Satan in a hammock.



Radko’s Satan checking his list.



Radko’s bionic dog.



We picked this one up earlier this year in Gruene (pronounced “Green”) Texas at a market days event. It’s a very simple collection of stars cut from a steel drum. Because nothing says Christmas like stars cut from a toxic waste drum.



And finally, I don’t even know what to say about this one. It’s so awful that I think it’s one of my favorites. The legs on this little fella are slinky like, so you can stretch them. I LOVE my hairy monkey boy.

Ecemberday AllengeChay Eight ointpay ewwwwtay

I uzway eyingtray ewtay ebay ubtlesay at innerday while alkintay ewtay Edjay. I entionmayed that Athannay issmayed Antasay at oolskay this orningmay.

Jed looked at me onfusedkay and said, “(F)reddy, did you say something.”

And osay I epeatedray what I had just aysayed.

He looked at me again like I had a okstray.

I repeated it one more time.

He said, “I have NO idea what you’re saying.”

I uldn’tkay opstay aughinlay. I said, “Don’t think I’m not going to ogblay about this”! And then
I asked him if he wanted another ammichsay!

I love my ittenkay.

Off to a test...wish me luck...I think I may need it onightay.

December Challenge Day 8

Christmas Vomit:

Christmas threw up over our house on Thanksgiving weekend, here’s a little tour for ya.
We’ll start with the stockings that we will all find our Satan gifts on Christmas morning. NOW I KNOW everyone is saying, “Where’s the ‘f’, where’s the ‘j’”? THINK ABOUT IT FOLKS!



Somewhere along the way Jed managed to start collecting Satan. His mommy gets him one a year. The problem is, if you’re doing the math, he should have a lot more. We think one of our former roommates accidentally took a box with them when they left. What’s left over are the Santa’s you see on top of the bookcases. Some of them I really dig.









This is our finished tree product. I don’t have the lights on in the pic, but the lights are colored. BJ I was a HUGE fan of the white lights. Jed likes colored lights, and this is a compromise I have accepted. ALSO, I like big gay trees, but Jed feels like my trees resemble more of a Liberace fingerset rather than a Christmas tree. So I’ve lost the gold wrapping. BUT I’ve also not found anything I like better, so I don’t wrap anything around the tree.



This bookcase is our main focal point in our living room. Therefore this is where we’ve staged quite a bit of our stuff. I’ll get down to the specifics below.



This is our countdown to Satan.



Jed, apparently, also collects Nativity scenes? Weird. Actually, now that I’ve said that out loud, I think one of them is mine! Bygones.



This is Jed’s nativity scene. I “like” it, but we don’t GET IT. Toothpicks? Toothpicks for a stable? For real?



This be the last of our Christmas vomit. My sister made me one of the trees a few years ago and I don’t recall where the second one came from. The Santa is another of Jed’s collections.



We’ve got some shit outside of our house too, but you may have to just cope with the loss, or perhaps I’ll do an outdoor blog in the next couple of weeks.

December Challenge: Day 1

THE CHALLENGE:
Spurred on by my dearest Walt, I am taking the month long challenge of posting a blog a day. Okay, okay. So Walt didn’t exactly challenge me, but he did it for the month of November and I thought I’d follow suit by doing the challenge for December. Because I am a sheep and I like to follow the herd. I also like to push myself when I am completely stressed and add more to my plate to make me bend even further.

TRAUMATIZING THE TODDLER:
Today was Bug’s first day of “school”. I wish I could have posted pictures of this magnanimous occasion, but you’ll see why I don’t have any here in a second. For those who don’t know, our sweet little Bug doesn’t talk. Yes, he’s three, but he doesn’t talk. Many people have said it’s because his brother says everything for him and he doesn’t need to talk. It’s true. Adrian talks enough for an army. But it concerned me for so long that we had him evaluated by speech therapists and the like to find out what’s going on. I didn’t want my little boy to be trapped in his head, I wanted the best of everything for him. While he’s been nattering on a little more and more every day lately, he’s still not where he needs to be. OFFICIALLY, he’s 18 months delayed with his speech. UNOFFICIALLY, he’s “just a three year old and will talk when he’s ready”.

For the last five months he’s been getting speech therapy once a month for 45 minutes and occupational therapy for 45 minutes twice a month. His occupational therapist tells me he wants to be a rodeo clown when he grows up, and this is fine by me. Cuz I love a good rodeo.
His speech therapy benefits through Easter Seals expired on his 3rd birthday on the 22nd of this month. From there, AISD (Austin Independent School District) picked up where Easter Seals left off. They also increased his speech therapy to 3 hours a day/ 5-days a week. So far I’ve not been completely thrilled with the communication with the school district.

For example: When we enrolled him I told them he wouldn’t be able to start until December 1st, because he was going to be out of town for the entire week after his birthday. Imagine my surprise as I was walking around the house in my lacy panties on the 24th of November when I heard the school bus outside. I ran out there (AFTER I threw some pants on, of course) and told the bus driver that he wasn’t supposed to start for another week. She left, angry I’m sure. I made a mental note of the time so I’d know when to have Bug ready for the bus. 0654. This morning I got up and made the kids waffles for breakfast. I wanted his first day to be special. I opened the blinds on the front of the house so I could see the bus when it pulled up; hopped in the shower; got mostly dressed; went into the kitchen to start making Bear’s lunch when I SAW THE BUS PULL UP IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE…AT 0640. Bug was still in his pajamas. I got the kid dressed faster than you’ve ever seen a kid get dressed in his life. What made me sad was I had this whole plan in my head that I’d get him dressed and tell him about his new school and the fun bus ride he was going to get to take. None of this happened. I basically hurried up and got him dressed, picked him up and ran outside and threw him on a bus with a bunch of strangers, strapped him in his seat and ran out the door while I heard him screaming, “DAAAADEEEEEEEEE”. I know he’s traumatized this morning. I feel horrible. I realize he’ll “bounce back”, but this is not how I wanted his first day of school to be. NOW I know that I have to have him ready “between 0630 and 0700” for the bus to pick him up. Thanks for that stellar communication.

DAAADEEEEEEEE School:
The last day of classes for me I think are on the 9th? I have an Algebra class tonight, my final English paper due tomorrow (which I haven’t started yet), an Algebra test on Wednesday, a History test on Thursday, my Algebra final next Monday, and my History final next Thursday. Needless to say, I’m ready for this semester to be over. I’ll get a good 4-weeks off before gearing up for the next semester (which I was SUPPOSED to register for 2 weeks ago). During which time I can do all my Christmas shopping, have a holiday or two, and reconnect with my family that I haven’t gotten to spend any time with for the last 3 months. PERHAPS, even, I can soothe Bug’s feather’s from his new schedule AND register for the next semester before it’s too late.

MADAGASCAR 2 v. BOLT
I took the boys to see both movies this weekend. Bolt was the clear winner. I enjoyed the original Madagascar and have been looking forward to the sequel since I saw the trailer this summer. I realize this next part is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, so I welcome the ridicule. Madagascar 2 just lacked any believability. Like, seriously, I understand its animation and it has talking animals and such. But there is a certain amount of believability with animated movies. Things just work. But there was so much in Madagascar 2 that was just so outside the realm of possibility that it just came off as a hurried sequel. BOLT, on the other hand, was completely believable AND AWESOME! It was so amazingly awesome that I will most definitely be taking the boys to see it again on Saturday.

AND FOR YOU COMIC BOOK NERDS:
You know who you are. My dear sweet boo kat (is going to kill me for this) is participating in his OWN December Challenge. I don’t know if any of you follow CBR (Comic Book Resources DOT COM!), but he is participating in the December D-List challenge where he and 3 other comic book nerds will be profiling their favorite D-List characters (one a day for the month of December). So if you’re “reality challenged” and are interested in seeing how Jed spends his waking hours, check out the CBR December D-List Challenge. Boo Kat writes under the name Jack Flash. I noticed quite a few nerds already checked in on the thread!

Oh what a great holiday weekend…so far. You’re most especially welcome for the break from my blog postings since Wednesday. You’ll have to forgive me, I’m not sure what came over me that particular day. I know it wasn’t Jed.

I spent my Wednesday having fun with the kid, who was out of school that day. We ran a bunch of errands during the morning (shopping for poppa’s birthday pressie, which I can tell you, cuz my kitten don’t read my ramblings, was a “Don’t Break The Ice” game that Adrian “just knows poppa is gonna love it”.) I got him a few other things too…a pair of invisible underpants, and a bottle of lube, but I’m sure “Don’t Break The Ice” will be his favorite. For lunch we met Leslie and Jed up at Chipotle for a little burrito action. Side note for you Yankees, there’s no such thing as a “burrito” in Mexico OR Texico. “Burrito” translates into “little ass”, if you will. And not the kind that you make love to, the kind you beat with a riding crop to get him moving with your cart of vegetables you just picked up from the market. So if you think reciting the menu from Taco Bell makes you bilingual, all you’re doing when you order a “burrito” is calling the employee a little ass.

After lunch Adrian and I started working on preparations for the side dishes for Thanksgiving dinner. It was fun for him for about 3 minutes before he washed his hands and went to watch something on the idiot box and left me alone in the kitchen to cook and clean…much like his poppa does now that I mention it. The folks were on their way down from OKC and got caught up in multiple traffic jams. The usual 6 hour trip ended up taking them a little over 10 hours. Needless to say, they weren’t NEARLY as happy to see us when they finally arrived as Nathan was. The squealing of “DAAAAADDDEEEEEE” when he got out of the car made me want to send him to the grandparents EVERY week just to hear him scream my name when he returned. I don’t think the folks even turned the car off. Just dropped the kid off and headed to their hotel.

Thursday morning I woke up at 6 and didn’t leave the kitchen until about 9 that evening. That’s not entirely true…I was allowed out for 20 minutes to eat with everyone before getting back in there and finishing up deserts and loading the dishwasher. It was so nice having the folks on my turf again. Our very good folks, the Fenders, joined us as well. It was good food and great conversation. After lunch dad took a nap with Nathan while Adrian entertained himself and the rest of us played a rousing game of Phase 10. Some interesting conversation came up during the game:

Leslie: Babs, do you know what tattoos your son has?

Babs: Well I know he has a _____ on his arm and a ____ on his _____.

Leslie: Yeah, but what and where’s his third one?

Babs: Uhhhh, I didn’t know he had a third one, but it doesn’t surprise me.

Leslie: Well Jed tried to draw it one night while we were all eating out together and I know what he drew was the tattoo, but it looked like a sea dragon or something and they were both laughing so hard we couldn’t get it out of either one of them what it was.

Babs: A sea dragon, huh?

Leslie: Yeah. Just so you know Babs, when your son dies, I’m most definitely going to be pantsing him at the funeral. I just don’t want you to be alarmed when I’m pulling his pants off him. I’m not a pervert or anything, but I have to know what that tattoo is before he’s put in the ground.

And then, my most favorite conversation.

Babs: (F)reddy, can you show me how to create a MySpace page? I think I want to start a blog.

(F)reddy: (Spewing his beer across the table) WHAT? WHAT ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR:

Babs: Because I find them entertaining. In fact, I’ve recently found yours and I’ve been quite entertained by your stories. In fact, you know which one of your blogs was my favorite?

Folks. I nearly died. FOR REALS.

Babs: The one where you took pictures of my house and made fun of me on your blog was my favorite!

OH MY GOD.

It took us all a good 20 minutes to stop laughing.

After the Fender’s left mom and I spent a couple of hours on the internet trying to find things she wanted to buy for all the grandkids for Christmas. Having found most of the stuff on Amazon, she was delighted how easy the whole thing was…but then we noticed that Wal-Shart had one of the Madden NFL games on sale for Black Friday morning at about ½ of what it was on line. She asked if I’d take her up there in the morning. I told her I wouldn’t do the “door-buster” thing, but that I’d run her up there so she could get them. So…

Friday morning I woke up at 430, ran to pick her up at the hotel and ran her to do her shopping. Things were not nearly as hectic here as they were in other areas of the country. We got in, got her stuff, and got out. We celebrated with “breakfast” back at the hotel afterwards. I ran home to grab a shower and the family and then met back up with the folks to drive to New Braunfels to hook up with Jed’s family (aunt, uncle, cousins, cousin’s spouses, cousin’s kid, grandmother, and red-headed step-child). From there ALL SIXTEEN OF US caravanned from New Braunfels to Fredericksburg, Texas to do some Hill-Country shopping and eat some German food. We had a lovely time co-mingling the families and choking down some beer and schnitzel. I’m so glad pappy drove on the way home, cuz (F)reddy was a little more than sleepy. When we walked in the house I collapsed in my La-Z-Boy just as my mommy says, “Hey, why don’t you put your tree up”? Huh? What? NOW?

Folks, my house is tiny. It’s 1100 square feet if you’ve got the windows open. Jed and I are big boys. We have two very active toddlers, and two very needy dogs. Add 2 parents who are a little more than twice our sizes, and it’s a very crowded house. So of course I…

Went to the garage and dug out all of our Christmas stuff. Granny wanted to see the boys’ faces as we put up the tree. Moreover, she wanted to take pictures of them “helping me” put the tree up. And, I’ll have to admit, as exhausted as I was, the boys really did have a great time setting up the tree and pulling off the ornaments as I put them on.

Saturday morning we got up early again and met the folks at Waterloo Icehouse of breakie. I had my standard Chicken Fried Steak and eggs with hashbrowns, toast, and copious amounts of coffee. After breakfast was over, we did our kiss n’ cry in the parking lot and said farewell to the folks. Jed and I ran the boys to the theater to see Madagascar 2. It wasn’t as good as the first one, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. After the movie we ran home and I got to take a much needed nap with the boys. After the nap, Jed CHALLENGED me to take Nathan to get his haircut. Never one to back down from a challenge, I accepted.

You should know, Nathan HATES getting his haircut. He considers any hairdressers to be his arch-nemesis. I once saw him (when he was two) snatch the scissors out of a woman’s hand and stab her in the eye with it. Another time, I watched in horror as he grabbed the clippers out of a guy’s hand and shave his balls with them. The hairdresser’s, not Nathan’s (cuz Nate’s only 3 and don’t got no hair on his balls yet.) To say he doesn’t like getting his haircut is an understatement. You would think Nathan is Superman and haircuts are his kryptonite. OR, you could simply believe that Nathan is Sampson. We just don’t take him that often because it is THAT horrible of an experience. The woman today certainly did a fantastic job AND deserved EVERY CENT of her 120% tip. I REALLY hope her hair grows back quickly, and I’m VERY sorry for handing him the lighter AND the hairspray at the same time.



Tonight I made some Turkey Tetrazini for dinner with some of the left over turkey. It was delicious. But now I’m tired. I’m sure not half as tired as you are reading this, but tired nonetheless. I have one more day tomorrow to “relax”…but it’ll be spent studying for my last week of school. That’s good for you, cuz it gives you a week to read all this crap.

Randomocity

THREE YEARS: Three years ago today I finalized Adrian’s adoption. It was such a fabulous day for me. Bittersweet, but fabulous. It would have been better if Jed and I could have finalized on the same day, like “real parents”, but maybe someday in the future we won’t have to worry about all this silly gay stuff. This picture below is one of my all time favorite pictures of Adrian. It was literally taken within the very first minute that his social worker brought him to our house. She walked in the door and handed him to Jed and he immediately put his head down on Jed’s shoulder. It was an immediate indication that all three of us knew that we were where we were supposed to be.



VAN DOH! While chillin’ at the casa yesterday afternoon Adrian asked if he could color. I busted out one of our 20 coloring books and set him at the table with some crayons. While walking around the house doing some chores, I walked past the table Adrian was working at and was really surprised to see his coloring technique. In the past month, he’s gone from indiscernible lines and shapes to actually “staying in the lines” and using some creativity with his style. Here I thought I was going to be cursed with a bunch of shitty squiggly lines hanging on my fridge for the next 19 years, but it looks like my boy MIGHT be starting to develop a little talent???



BYE-BYE, PAW PAW, BYE-BYE: Following a really great weekend with friends and family, we got an early morning phone call this morning from Jed’s mom letting us know that Jed’s grampie died overnight. Paw Paw has been sick for several years. I was fortunate to meet the man when he could still talk. While he was already “losing it” then, he still had some funny things to say and was a joy to talk to. I’m really glad he got to meet the boys while he could still talk to them and tease them. I wish I had gotten an opportunity to meet him back in the day, because I understand he was quite the character. Jed spent a lot of time with his grandmother and grandfather when he was growing up, and if the way Jed turned out is any indication of the character of the man, he done good. Paw Paw will be missed, for sure.

That’s really all I’ve got today. I know I had more to say, but honestly, the brain is just too full right now.